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  • Wake Up ©
    rowancv 10/02/11- 09:34 PM

    I have all these dreams.. delusions? of these amazing things I could do.
    Visualizations, of various potentials which my mind has construed.
    But I may never speak with a silver tongue, or be among the dance scene's greatest ones.
    The story hidden in my heart may never find it's way to print or screen,
    And I'll probably never make the kind of money we had all foreseen.
    I'm afraid to stop dreaming- sometimes I feel like it's all that I have,
    But the present passes by, with my vain attempts denied.
    I need to stop... chasing the praise and approval in man's eyes,
    I need to stop... feeding the pride and lusts in my own eyes.
    I give up trying to impress you. I give up wanting to be you.
    I give up wanting to have what you have, and I re-root my dreams into purity,
    To not let having dreams interfere with living the dream,
    To redeem a hope that is selfless and guided, to chase and feed only the things that matter.
    What am I? A disciple, a husband, a father, a son, a brother, a friend.
    If the change and impact I end up making is through one soul at a time, so let it be.
    Let me do it to the best of my ability, and let me learn as often as I need,
    To die to self completely. Acquiesce- to live in love, undefiled, and nothing less.


  • Wake Up ©

    rowancv 08/28/11- 07:15 PM

     

    Can words capture my violent rush of emotions,

    Entreating me in the silence?

    Raptured in thought,

    Arrested by your peaceful sleep.

    You seem to rest in what you know so well:

    Enviable trust, happiness, and content.

     

    As you lay,

     

    The sound of your breathing puts even me at ease.

    I struggle to bottle this very moment-

    The overflow can’t be contained.

    Love and thanksgiving I too often miss,

    That such innocent beauty could find a home…

     

    With me.

     

    I’m lost for words because I don’t deserve.

    I take for granted, overlook.

    Your body smiles at me in play,

    In assurance and understanding.

     

    I watch you sleep,

     

    And hope you are in a good place in your dreams.

    I’ll wait as long as it takes,

    For you to come back to me when you wake.

     

    But don’t wake up just yet.

  • Sin is probably best defined as building your joy on ANYTHING other than God- turning good things into ultimate things, such that you cannot be CONTENT without that idol in your life. On the contrary, without it, your world is turned upside down and you are consumed, tortured, and trapped by that sinful root in your heart. Depression, addiction- these are just the symptoms of a deeper problem that we are terrified of facing and changing, because we know it will be a battle. With these things in mind, I am learning just how true, heavy and serious, the following quote really is: "Hell [in this case, I mean 'hell on earth'] is just a freely chosen identity based on something else besides God going on forever." -Tim Keller ..the only way to experience lasting freedom, and precious rest, is by tearing down your foundation completely, from the bottom up, and fighting against your sinful nature (our overwhelming selfishness and stubbornness), with all of your might, to establish Jesus as the foundation of every fiber of your being.

    Lord, Will I Make It Through This One??

    Have you been thinking “How am I going to make it through this one?” or “Can, and will, God pull me through this time?”

    In Exodus, Chapter 14, the children of Israel asked the same questions. With the Egyptian army coming up from behind them and the Red Sea blocking their path to freedom, they wondered if God was even on their side.

    Had God changed his mind? Was there some sin in their lives hindering them from receiving the promises of God, they thought? The situation began to look worse than the one they had just left.

    In the Bible, Egypt represents a place of lack, bondage, hardships, restrictions and dead ends. The only life the children of Israel knew was one of oppression and limitations. In fact, they weren’t even allowed to think for themselves.

    You may be in a situation right now where you are wondering how you are going to make it through another day. Like the children of Israel, maybe things are beginning to look worse for you.

    The Lord instructs Moses in Exodus 14:14 to tell his people, “The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.”

    In other words, DON'T LET FEAR OR ANGER STEAL YOUR PEACE. Fear usually comes from some kind of pressure in your life. Be encouraged today. God has this one for you.

    It says in Romans 14:4, “He is able to make you stand.” So if you won’t give up or quit, the Lord will work his power in and for you. He will avenge you. Stay focused. He’s the Lord of hope.

    In Exodus 14:15, the Lord continues talking with Moses by saying, “Tell the children of Israel to go forward.”

    Always remember that when opposition comes, it’s important for you to keep going. It’s critical to continue working on your dreams and building your future.

    The Lord specializes in tough times and has what you need, abundant peace and strength. The battle is the Lord’s, and he has drawn the line in the sand against whatever is working against you.

    Everything trying to hold you back will be shaken. Anything trying to deceive you and bring you in a different direction will suddenly fade in the background. Exodus 14:27b says, “So the Lord overthrew the Egyptians, their chariots and their horsemen.”  It says in 2 Corinthians 12:9, “God’s grace (power) will take you all the way through to your destiny!”

    God has great things ahead for you. Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplishINFINITELY MORE than we might ask or think.”

    You will make a difference and stand out because of the favor God has placed upon you.  Your future is looking good. Remember, THE LORD IS FIGHTING FOR YOU.  STAND STRONG and HOLD YOUR PEACE! :)

    (Thank you Robin for this.)


  • (Thank you Sam for this.)

    HOPE: There are two possibilities when one gets scared in the face of trials. First, he had seen enough and learning little or nothing from it, he dreads going through another. Second, he places security in what he has and not on the Owner of everything he has and does not have. Be neither of these. Develop a sturdy hope and trust in the Father who loves you.

    Readings: Psalm 42; Romans 15:13
    Word to the Wise Devotional

    Keeping a Clear Mind
    The human mind is an amazing creation of God. Nothing on earth can match its capabilities or creativity. It controls feelings, thoughts, words, attitudes, and behavior. Who we become and what we achieve are largely due to how and what we think. Wouldn’t it make sense to let the One who created us guide our thought processes?
     
    A clear mind is one that’s aligned with God’s Word and controlled by His Spirit. When the Lord has authority over our thoughts, discernment will guard our perspective. He empowers us to look beyond the surface and view situations as they really are. We can distinguish not just between right and wrong but also between good and best. The Lord has granted us the ability to think rightly no matter what challenges may face us.
     
    But such clear, focused thinking must be deliberately chosen and diligently maintained. If we don’t guard against the world’s influence, we will find ourselves squeezed into its mold. Soon we’ll have a fragmented mind that cannot focus on spiritual things because it is cluttered and clogged with worldly thoughts and concerns. We must carefully consider what we allow into our minds. So ask yourself, Is this helping me become the person God wants me to be, or is it hindering the process?
     
    A renewed mind begins with surrender to the Lord. Until you give Him full authority over your thoughts, you’ll have no power to clear out the clutter that hinders you from living in the fullness of His will. But as you yield to Him and fill your mind with His Word, He’ll transform your life.
     
    Romans 12:1-2
     
    1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

    Prayer For Taking Control of Your Thoughts
    Father, though I live in in the world, I do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons I fight with are not the weapons of the world.  On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  I demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of You, and I take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
     
    In the name of Jesus, I ask You, Father, to bless those who have despitefully used me.  Whenever I feel afraid, I will trust in You.  When I feel miserable, I will express thanksgiving, and when I feel that life is unfair, I will remember that You are more than enough.
     
    When I feel ashamed, help me to remember that I no longer have to be afraid; I will not suffer shame.  I am delivered from the fear of disgrace; I will not be humiliated, I relinquish the shame of my youth.
     
    It is well with my soul for You have redeemed me.  You have called me by my name, I AM YOURS.
     
    Your will be done in my life at this time.  I am being transformed through the renewing of my mind.  I am able to test and approve (for myself) what Your will is - Your good and acceptable and perfect will.
     
    You have good things reserved for my future.  All my needs will be met according to Your riches in glory.  I will replace worry for my family by asking You to protect and care for them.
     
    You are love, and perfect love casts out fear.
     
    In Jesus' name, amen.


    (Thank you Robin for this.)

  • "Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself." –C.S.L.

  • so we fight, through the hurt, and we cry and cry and cry and cry,
    and we live, and we learn, and we try and try and try and try...
    ...on our way, back, down to earth..


  • WhoDo
    Written: 01-17-11

    Who loves me, without caring about what I can do for them?
    Who loves me, without caring about what I can offer?
    Who loves me, without caring about what I owe to them?
    Who loves me, without caring about what they deserve?

    God.

    Do I love Him, without caring about what He can do for me?
    Do I love Him, without caring about what He can offer?
    Do I love Him, without caring about what He "owes" me?
    Do I love Him, without caring about what I "deserve"?

    Be still my soul.

  • It's my last night at home with the family (sleeping at the hotel tomorrow night). Just packing as much as I can pack, but I'll probably have to come back some time to pick up the rest. My mom made a big dinner for me- pansit, lumpia, and fried fish- so I really appreciated that. I also just gave my parents the "thank you" gifts I was planning on giving them at the rehearsal tomorrow night (they aren't attending so I gave it to them tonight). I feel just fine. Peace has somehow overcome all these mixed emotions. My God is carrying me.

  • A mental work
    to the bittersweet end
    (beginning?).
    9 days before 9 years.
    I'll take it.
    I'll take it and run.
    Thank You Lord.
    Praise You Lord.

rowancv

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