July 30th 2005, Rowan's Prayer Requests:
1) speedy recovery for alana (she had all 4 wisdom teeth removed in surgery)
2) my august 20th mcat
3) that i could find a job soon (to pay my bills, be independent, & save up)
4) that i get my permit & driver's license soon
5) my family's financial struggles
6) my beloved parents
7) that God will reveal His will for my life
8) R.E.S.E.T. ministry
those are my personal requests, so of course, keep praying for those who are struggling with situations & circumstances, pray for the lost & intercede for our nation(s), AND....
feel more than free to leave me a comment with your prayer requests, & know that they will be prayed for*
Uncategorized
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my life for the next month or so:
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
21st
Physics 1
22
22nd
Physics 2
22
23rd
Physics 3
26
24th
Biology 1
18
25th
Physics 4
16
Biology 2
14
26th
Physics 5
18
Biology 3
18
27th
Physics 6
18
28th
Biology 4
20
29th
Physics 7
18
Biology 5
14
Biology 6
20
30th
Physics 8
22
31st
Biology 7
14
Biology 8
12
Biology 9
20
1st
Physics 9
22
Biology 10
16
Biology 11
20
2nd
Physics 10
26
Biology 12
20
3rd
Physics 11
14
Biology 13
28
4th
Physics 12
18
Biology 14
26
5th
Biology 15
18
Chemistry 1
20
Chemistry 2
16
6th
Chemistry 3
28
7th
Chemistry 4
20
Orgo 1
18
8th
Chemistry 5
22
Orgo 2
26
9th
Chemistry 6
18
Chemistry 7
22
10th
Orgo 3
10
Orgo 4
18
Orgo 5
18
11th
Chemistry 8
14
Orgo 6
14
Orgo 7
18
12th
Chemistry 9
16
Orgo 8
18
Orgo 9
16
13th
Chemistry 10
22
14th
Chemistry 11
22
Orgo 10
22
15th
Orgo 11
12
Orgo 12
18
Orgo 13
16
16th
Orgo 14
16
Orgo 15
20
17th
REVIEW all
Physics & Biology
18th
REVIEW all
Chemistry & Orgo
19th
Review KAPLAN Test-taking Tips & Strategies
SLEEP WELL
(8-10 hrs at least)
20th
MCAT Exam
i'm gonna be studying at the dana library at rutgers newark for the most part, squeezing in gym & track time if i ever finish my work on time.
a lot of people expect me to go to med. school, but it's really God's decision and not mine.. i will praise Him, worship Him, and thank Him no matter what becomes of my life: this is one thing that i do know. and i also trust that in His time, He will reveal to me His will for my career and ministry. right now, i can only continue to fervently pray about it, ask Him for much needed patience, and do my very best not to do anything to screw up His perfect plan for my life.
faith & trust
hope & agape love
patience & perseverance
prayer & devotion
a life of righteousness
modeled after my only role model: Jesus Christ
Yeshua Messiah
these things.... are not easy for me. but faithful is He who promised me His Spirit without measure; faithful is He to keep His amazing promises. i rest on the everlasting Rock of my salvation*
P.S. lana, every single day i love u more and more.. God bless those who are praying for us.. and just know that i am always always always praying about our future.. together.. by His grace*
P.S.S. forgive me R.E.S.E.T. if i haven't been on the ball.. i'm trying.. but know that i am always praying for u all, and i love u guys and girls so much.. "the best is yet to come." -
Psalms 100:5 For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.
Reflection:
Never need the child of God fear the failure of the heavenly promise for the Lord is unto everlasting. He is. And was. And ever will be. And He is faithful! Faithful to the fulfilment of every good thing! Faithful to His eternal promise of the redemption, justification, sanctification, and glorification of His chosen people! Take heart and enjoy well the Sabbath rest bought us by Christ! -Blue Letter Bible Ministries
Perfect Ways
"As for God, his way is perfect…" -Psalm 18:30
"…. and maketh my way perfect." -Psalms 18:32
"If I had it to do all over again…." How many times have you said that? These are the words not spoken by youth but by those whose journey has covered many miles with many mistakes. If your hourglass shows equal sand in the bottom as the top, or more sand at the bottom, I have a question for you to ponder: would you say your life has been perfect? If you are saved you will say it one day. Notice that our text tells us that God’s way "is perfect" but that He "maketh my way perfect." We are a work in progress. When we bemoan our circumstances and trials wishing that they were different we are in effect telling the Lord that what He is doing with us is not perfect. Today’s Manna reminds us that not only is God’s plan for us perfect, His performance of that plan is too. "If I had it to do all over again" will never be spoken by God. You are where the Lord wants you – as imperfect as it may seem. -Pastor Rhoads
Hebrews 11
1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
6 But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
32 And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets: 33 Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions. 34 Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. 35 Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection: 36 And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment: 37 They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented; 38 (Of whom the world was not worthy
they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.
F A I T H
H O P E
L O V E -
It's amazing the things we so often find in peoples' Bibles during R.E.S.E.T.: sermon notes, verses on tissue, bookmarks with poetry.... Some might argue that you can tell a lot by the things you find in a person's Bible. Either way, it's interesting, and in addition to verses highlighted and underlined, it's a great thing to know that the Word of God is being read and actively used in peoples' lives
. Going through my pocket Bible, here's what I found:
1) a yellow, laminated Campus Crusade coupon
2) an old Campus Crusade Real News bulletin
3) a back-in-the-day FFBC Youth fellowship flyer
4) Grace Baptist Church prayer requests (Lucena City, PI)
5) Sha'ar Adonai (Messianic congregation) info. card
6) pink post-it with witnessing verses
7) Phantom of the Opera ticket
8) a picture of Alana & myself
What's in your Bible?
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((Summary of yesterday's Torah portion at church)) à background info.: Balaam was a Gentile prophet of the Old Testament whose story includes the following passage. He was told to bless the Israelites, God's chosen people, but his will got in the way of God's will. See, there were these people who wanted Balaam to curse the Israelites, and they were offering him a large amount of money to do so. He would go up to a mountain and try to curse God's people there, but it would never work. On this particular morning, he was on his way out to yet again try and curse the Israelites, but was stopped by a supernatural experience....
Numbers 22: 21 Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the princes of Moab. 22 But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the LORD stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. 23 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, she turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat her to get her back on the road. 24 Then the angel of the LORD stood in a narrow path between two vineyards, with walls on both sides. 25 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam's foot against it. So he beat her again. 26 Then the angel of the LORD moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. 27 When the donkey saw the angel of the LORD, she lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat her with his staff. 28 Then the LORD opened the donkey's mouth, and she said to Balaam, "What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?" 29 Balaam answered the donkey, "You have made a fool of me! If I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now." 30 The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?" "No," he said. 31 Then the LORD opened Balaam's eyes, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown. 32 The angel of the LORD asked him, "Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me. 33 The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared her." 34 Balaam said to the angel of the LORD, "I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back." 35 The angel of the LORD said to Balaam, "Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you." So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.
Balaam was so engrossed in his own will and what he wanted, that it didn't even occur to him that his freakin' donkey just spoke to him (!!). Too often we are guilty of doing the same. We are so caught up in what we want and make excuses based on the things that are driving us, whether it be greed and money or pride and ignorance. Like Jeff said during his message, sometimes we wrap up our will in Bible verses and dress it up with grossly misinterpreted scripture. Bottom line: God's will is one of peace and order, love and compassion, and it is my prayer that the Lord will open up our eyes to see His perfect will in our lives. May peace and blessings be restored to broken homes, families, relationships, and communities, amen*
you know…
when life gets ugly
or I’m facing my fears in despair
a beacon of hope
always shines through
in knowing you’ll always be there
i don’t have to count my blessings
all that long
for peace to find its way to my heart
because you
me
the love we share in Christ
is all that mattered from the start
…and it’s really all that will ever matter*
R.E.S.E.T.
summer sessionz going strong at the debianchi residence
stay praying for each other r.e.s.e.t.
i miss you n' love you all*
www.xanga.com/refocused_in_Christ
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F A I T H
"Tell me I pray thee wherein thy great strength lieth." —Judges 16:6
Where lies the secret strength of faith? It lies in the food it feeds on; for faith studies what the promise is—an emanation of divine grace, an overflowing of the great heart of God; and faith says, "My God could not have given this promise, except from love and grace; therefore it is quite certain His Word will be fulfilled." Then faith thinketh, "Who gave this promise?" It considereth not so much its greatness, as, "Who is the author of it?" She remembers that it is God who cannot lie—God omnipotent, God immutable; and therefore concludeth that the promise must be fulfilled; and forward she advances in this firm conviction. She remembereth, why the promise was given,— namely, for God's glory, and she feels perfectly sure that God's glory is safe, that He will never stain His own escutcheon, nor mar the lustre of His own crown; and therefore the promise must and will stand. Then faith also considereth the amazing work of Christ as being a clear proof of the Father's intention to fulfil His word. "He that spared not His own Son, but freely delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?" Moreover faith looks back upon the past, for her battles have strengthened her, and her victories have given her courage. She remembers that God never has failed her; nay, that He never did once fail any of His children. She recollecteth times of great peril, when deliverance came; hours of awful need, when as her day her strength was found, and she cries, "No, I never will be led to think that He can change and leave His servant now. Hitherto the Lord hath helped me, and He will help me still." Thus faith views each promise in its connection with the promise-giver, and, because she does so, can with assurance say, "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life!" -Charles Spurgeon -
They're hurting me.. more than they'll ever know
I love them more than they'll ever know
It hurts. so. much.
Almost one year.. and my past still causes pain
Almost one year, and my greatest enemy
Is still myself
The impossibility of what's expected of me
A realistic view of my chances-
Takes a toll on me..
"Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live? It’s unfair.
This is what it means, to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is, to be loved
And to know, that the promise was: when everything fell
We’d be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our s o r r o w
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
If hope is born of suffering
If this is only the beginning
Can we not wait for one hour?
Watching for our Savior?" -Natalie Grant Held
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for most kids who go to Sunday school (like myself when i was younger), they've been trained enough to know how to respond to this question: What did Jesus do for you? The answer? "He died on the cross for my sins." While this is very much true and the essence of our salvation, it is only half the picture. We have to understand, that if this was the entire story, Jesus should have been able to simply come to earth and go directly to the cross. But no. Jesus the Christ not only died for us, but He lived for us. He fulfilled every requirement to justify us and our sins to God the Father, and that included living a perfect life, that we might have an example who walked upright in the sight of God. Jesus says that He had to be baptized, He had to filfill all points of righteousness for us. Praise God for a love so great, that death and life were executed for our redemption. Amen*
i'm sorry i couldn't make it to r.e.s.e.t. this week, but i'm proud of the 4 people who did, for even where 2 or 3 are gathered together in His name, there He is also . r.e.s.e.t. stay growing in every way in Jesus' Name*
PRAISES: Thank You Lord for granting me an interview with Dean Bogel, who will write my composite letter to every medical school I apply to. This is a blessing because #1, He has allowed me to complete my HPO file, and #2, I am fortunate to even get an interview from the H.P.O. (Health Professions Office) in the month of July. So now, by God's grace, I can get stuff out A.S.A.P., which I need to do, considering my non-competitive grades and scores. I also want to thak God for this one company that was actually going to give me a job (I think). But I had to turn it down because #1, I had no means of getting to Dayton, NJ and #2, I should really find work in a pharmaceutical or clinical research company, even above this privately owned environmental testing company. This only tells me that I have slight glimmer of hope. And my Lord, my hope is still and always in You*
Baruch haba, b'shem Adonai'...blessed is he who comes in the Name of the Lord*
press on in Jesus' Name
His love reaches
beyond our comprehension
blessed be the Name of the Lord
on another note: i played "altered beast" on this $20 sega genesis my brother bought (!!) ....it only had 6 games, and it only allows 1 player, but it has the only 2 games that matter on this game system(altered beast and sonic the hedgehog).
"ariiiiise from your graave"
"power, up!"
"welcome to your doom"
"hŭ hŭ hŭ hŭ"
the nostalgia.. for those who feel me,
thas whussup with the sega genesis generation lol.
fighting demons
as Christians, we have our own "power up"
a.k.a. prayer, fellowship, and the Word of God
sometimes, i wanna tell myself that if only i can get angry enough, then there wont be anymore room for pain.... but it's honestly so much more of sadness, and a little less of anger..
. P A I N .
"Healing rain is comin' down, healing rain is comin' down
I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid" -Michael W. Smith Healing Rain
"I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now"
-Mercy Me Homesick
I miss you, because we belong together*
"...the God of second chance, picked them up and He let them dance, through a world, that is not kind..." -B.N. A.P.i.T.
"I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now"
-Mercy Me Homesick
I miss you, because things have become so different now*
"...wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door..." -The Beatles Eleanor Rigby
The disease of self runs through my blood
It’s a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control
Tell me, what’s going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I’m still a man in need of a savior
I wanna be in the light, as You are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
Oh Lord be my light, and be my salvation
'Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light
(-dc talk in the light)
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Mi chamocha ba-elim Adonai.
Mi kamocha ne-edar bakodesh.
Norah t'hilot osei feleh.
Osei feleh.
Who is like You, O Lord among the gods?
Who is like You, Lord there is none else.
You are awesome in praise, doing wonders O Lord,
who is like You O Lord?
grace is getting what you do not deserve
mercy is not getting what you do deserve
i love You so much Lord; it is only Your grace and mercy that keeps me going*
Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad.
Barukh Shem k'vod malkhuto l'olam va-ed
Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One.
Blessed be the Name of His glorious kingdom for ever and ever
i thank God that He is faithful, and sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24)
I wrote this the other night.. I thank God for giving me my writing to express the condition of my heart. The fact that it came out as rap might be funny, but hey, that’s how it came out.. the message and expression, though, is very sincere. Here we go….
beat intro.lol.
spoken: i just had tah let this out.. so i tried mah hand out at the rap game…..
ro redeemed, In But Not Of
check it..
i’m AWAKE, and instantly-this-feelin’-within. 10 suttin’ in-the-A.-M.-and-already-i’m-fightin’. eneMY’s-been at my gate ‘fore-i-was even awake, i’m seein’ HOTT flashes now-from-an a-bated DREAM state. so here-i-lay, half flirtin’ half lookin’-away, knowin’ in my heart that i have not-e-ven-PRAYED, round-about, in a realm i-cant-see, there’s a full-assault-war breakin’-out spiritually. iss all on-me, in the midst of losing strength-to-persist, i cant do-this-alone, i know i need-some-assistance. i already know, that there’s a-lot-here-at-stake. i gotta shake-this-off before i make-a-mistake.
sicka this sex-crazed world and-it’s effects-on-me
sick of amountin’ to-my-actions made impul-sive-ly
by His strength will i stand, immersed in faith, hope, and love
i’ll-find-mah-peace-knowin’, that i am in-but-not-of
wit’ the-amounta’-times that i’ve fallen, it’s hard tah-believe You’re still here. You would think that i’d-have-learned from all those heart-breaking-years. if only people-did-know, just how LOW this-soul’s-been, if they could only-see-how, ive fallen shamefully-to-sin. but lemme show-them-now, how-Your-love goes truly-beyond, our grasp-of-understanding every new-day dawned. how You forgive and forget, heart swept, debt paid-for-in-full, how You uphold-this-new-creation despite-attempts tah annul. des-pite lies-that-try-to-tell you that you’re not-changed-at-all, des-pite times that you do fall-gotta-press on-and-recall, that i am
sicka this sex-crazed world and-it’s effects-on-me
sick of amountin’ to-my-actions made impul-sive-ly
by His strength will i stand, immersed in faith, hope, and love
i’ll-find-mah-peace-knowin’, that i am in-but-not-of
so this IS mah final prayer-and Lord i mean-every-word: render this flesh DEAD-‘til-holy-union’s-occurred. may i, defer sex see-my-lusts-as-absurd, as i, live in His peace prefer-to-know-that-He’s-pleased.it ain’t worth, my tears and my pain ending-UP-in-vain, it ain’t worth, losin’-the-grace and the favor-that-i’ve found-in-His-Name, You’re MORE-than-worth, mah whole LIFE surrendered-Holy-Spirit-possessed, You’re MORE-than-worth, ro, givin’ nothin’ less-than-his-best.oh-how-i-love-You, i NEED you Lord to-set-me-apart, until da day-i-die-(will-i-abide)-You’ll find me chasin’-after-Your-heart.
thank You for loving me
accepting me in my weakness
making my days so much more brighter
and my nights more tolerable
for fighting my battles with me
and being nothing short
of what you truly are
beautiful*
this song has been speaking to my heart as of late, especially with the things going on, and then hearing nicole c. mullen sing this on saturday at the billy graham crusade..
"Call on Jesus"
I'm so very ordinary, nothing special on my own
I have never walked on water, I have never calmed a storm
Sometimes I'm hiding away, from the madness around me
Like a child who's afraid of the dark
But when I call on Jesus, all things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles and soar
When I call on Jesus, mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call
Weary brother, broken daughter
Widowed, widowed lover, you're not alone
If you're tired and scared, of the madness around you
If you can't find the strength to carry on
Call Him in the morning, in the afternoon time
Late in the evening, He'll be there
When your heart is broken, and you feel discouraged
You can just remember that He said, He'll be there
When I call on Jesus, all things are possible
I can mount on wings like eagles and soar
When I call on Jesus, mountains are gonna fall
'Cause He'll move heaven and earth to come rescue me when I call
Lord.... You already know.......
i'm trusting You.. i'm trusting You....
what i felt to be a taste of heaven at the billy graham event....
oh how i look forward to that day, eternal rest in Him, amen* -
a blessed team....
....somehow.... i felt their joy
..i love my spurs (!!)
propz to the pistons, our (seriously) worthy opponent
spurs just forgot to interview their #1 fan (me)
yo man.ginobili.horry.duncan.parker.bowen.pop.
flippin' awesome series
the spurs are great
bedtime.. more to come in the morning.. gnight n God bless* -ro redeemed.
p.s. thanks ryan for dishin' out $$ to buy me an antenna so that i can watch the game on tv. truly appreciate that bro*
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