February 13, 2011

• TESTIMONIES
  ..a record of God's goodness and faithfulness..
  R.E.S.E.T.
  Praise & Prayer Requests

  Dec. 26: The morning after I had pigged out during our Christmas dinner, I slowly started to get sick (I honestly don't know the cause- if I had to guess I'd say it was the cold, or simply just my body being subject to so much change in temperature, altitude, and time zones). Everyone had gone out to play basketball, but I just could not shake a weakness I felt in my body. I didn't know what it was, and decided to stay at the cottage there in Baguio. I took a hot, hot shower, but after getting out, the weakness got worse, and I realized that I was feeling really cold. I got dressed and put on my jacket and watched TV for a little bit, but I slowly kept feeling worse. I finally came to accept that something was up, and before I knew it I was extremely cold and very weak. I went up to the attic and on top of my socks, jeans, and jacket, I put two thick blankets on top of me to keep me warm, and I was still cold. It was no doubt a fever, and I was determined with all my might to be healed of it as soon as possible. So I lay in bed, and listened to Christian music, because I knew that the Word of God could literally cause physical healing- in the very least, it was comforting. My game plan was to do nothing but sleep, and only wake up in intervals to eat soup (thanks to my mom and dad who brought me some) and drink water and juice. I missed the entire day's events, but I did just that, and in less than 1 day (within 18 hours to be more precise), God healed my body of fever and sickness, and I praised His Name with all of my heart! I didn't have much time left in the Philippines after that, but He made sure I was well on those last 2 days.

  
  LEFT: in Baguio RIGHT: able to enjoy the Calayan family reunion because God healed me!

  Dec. 29 / Jan. 3: My family is still in the Philippines and I am literally living at home alone with no money left. Jon picks me up from the JFK airport on Dec. 29th, and I recognize that God's timing was perfect concerning my flight back home stateside. I had just missed one of the biggest snow storms since the blizzard of '96 (which I definitely remember), and if I had left any earlier, I could very well have been stranded at an airport for days. By God's grace, I experienced no major delays and arrived into the U.S. on-time. I am extremely thankful that Jon, who drove through 4 hours of Manhattan traffic to get to the airport, offered to help me out by picking me up. We have dinner with R.E.S.E.T. at Mitsuwa (in Edgewater, NJ), and we also write out Herminio (our World Vision sponsored child from Mozambique) a card and buy him a sketchbook from Barnes & Noble. After a blessed evening of fellowship, I finally get back home and find that my dad had left something on my bed. He had found some old savings bonds that I had won yeeears ago during grammar school! On Jan. 3rd, I was able to cash them for a total of $341.60. I was able to use that money for some bills, pocket money, and some wedding expenses. I was so thankful.

  
  LEFT: R.E.S.E.T. @ Mitsuwa RIGHT: savings bonds from 1995-1997

  Jan. 11: This was one of the scariest nights of my life. Yet another snow storm was in the forecast, and I had made plans to drive down to South Jersey that night. I didn't think the snow would begin falling until much later (based on a weather report I had looked at), but it began to come down just as I was leaving Jersey City. I knew I was in trouble, and so from our apartment I made my way to Route 1 (I didn't have toll money to take the Turnpike), and I drove out as fast as I could. I wanted to cover as much ground as possible before the snow began to fall down heavily and stick to the road. And then it finally happened- the snow came down hard, and it began to stick to the road and pile up. I slowed my speed down to 45 mph but my car kept sliding (I also have bad tires to begin with), so I slowed it down even more. It was difficult to distinguish lanes, so for the most part, the cars and trucks on the road stayed on one lane. I noticed that all the car dealerships had all their lights on full blast, and I appreciated that because the extra light really helped. It seemed like forever, but I finally got to Highway 295- my troubles were only beginning. 295 was insane, and the snow just kept coming. The roads were completely unplowed, and there were seemingly unending strips on 295 that did NOT have any streetlights! The snowflakes were ginormous, and visibility was extremely low. The front headlights were not really helpful because all they did was light up the thick snowflakes. We had to go extremely slow- I was averaging 25-30 mph on this 65 mph highway! Again, lanes were totally indistinguishable, and it was "every man for themselves." You had to drive slow because there were the dangers of sliding (which happened often) and getting stuck in the snow. I developed a method of finding a truck and following it for as long as I could, trying to keep my tires aligned with their tire tracks (because the snow was just so thick!). I eventually lost sight of the trucks, and just had to navigate my way, finding the best tire tracks to follow. Oftentimes another car would find me and use me as a guide, following in my tire tracks. It was also difficult because by the nature of the situation, I had to keep extra control over the steering wheel, so it was a constant strain on my leg and arm muscles. I wanted to try taking a video of the whole experience, but I was literally afraid to even take one hand off of the steering wheel for even a second in fear that I would lose control of my car. I also had to stay mentally aware of the vehicles around me: some cars or trucks would try to speed by (they must have had good tires), and I had to be ready just in case they might skid towards my car (!!). The drive seemed like it would never end, and in all honesty, I was very much afraid- of getting into an accident, of something happening to my car, and of getting stranded. For some reason, the fear was so intense, that my other major life problems (I specifically thought of the situation regarding my marriage and my family) seemed to not even matter at all- if only I could survive this snow storm! It took about 3 hours (or more?) but in the end, God got me to Alana's place SAFELY, and I spent time reflecting on the experience, and thanking God for keeping His divine, protective hand over me and my car. What a night that was.

  
  LEFT: arriving safely RIGHT: dug out a spot (I keep a shovel in my car)

  Jan. 12: I met with my counselor (1-on-1 this time) for the first time in months. I had been struggling with some intense fears and issues since I was in the Philippines, and it got so bad that I decided I had to see Dr. Silverstein. This, in and of itself, is a tremendous blessing, because Alana's pastor, understanding the great need, had allowed their church to allocate some money for us to be able to see a trusted, professional Christian counselor. Dr. Silverstein had helped me so much in the past (I cannot express that enough), and I have developed such a great trust and respect for this man as well. I just wanted to praise and thank God, because our session that day was extremely helpful, and very much needed.

  Jan. 28: After two weeks of applying to as many jobs as I could and hearing absolutely nothing back from anybody, my good friend Racquel referred me to a job opening within the company she currently works for (a CRO, Contract/Clinical Research Organization).

  Jan. 30: I understand very well the pressure on me to find a job as quickly as possible- heck, the pressure on me to figure out my life as quickly as possible. So I make a very specific prayer request to God, asking Him to allow me to hear back from the CRO by the end of the week (essentially, in 5 days). I made this request in my heart, and also asked YAM (a young adults fellowship in my brother's church) to pray for me. We all sort of laughed when I added that I was asking God for an answer specifically "within 1 week," because we know all too well how bad this economy has been, and that there are people who have been searching for jobs for months, and even years, to no avail. But I believed it was possible.

  
  my little brother Rommel giving the message at the Young Adults Ministry (YAM) Bible Study

  Feb. 2: I've been struggling with lower back pain since early January (due to shoveling and breakdancing I think), and decided to really minimize my practice time until I was better. I made it a point to begin going to the gym to specifically target my ab and gluteus muscles to decrease the strain on my back. So on this day, I had to deal with an ice-covered car (the weather has been crazy all winter). A woman cracked her windshield trying to scrape the ice off, so Kyle advised me to use my defrost before attempting to scrape the ice off. It took me about 30 minutes before I was ready to drive off. I finally get to the gym, and as I was doing back stretches in the stretching room in Planet Fitness, the emptiness of the room tempted me to practice handstands. I got on my hands and even felt like I controlled it better than I ever have in the past, but being the idiot that I am, I landed it on my right foot instead of my left foot (I should have known better since it is my lower right back that is giving me problems). Immediately I knew something very bad had happened, and it was painful. For the first time in my life, my back pain caused pain, numbness, and tingling on my right leg and foot. It was extremely scary- I could barely even drive back home. It has gotten a little bit better ever since, as the pain has subsided, but my right leg and foot still has a lot of numbness. PRAYER REQUEST: that God would heal my back and spinal cord completely, and as quickly as possible, so that I may dance for Him again.

  
  LEFT: ice-covered car RIGHT: N.B.K. & R.E.S.E.T.

  Feb. 3: This never happens to me, although I hear stories about it all the time: I was stressing out on this day about two separate loan bills (the chasing begins yet again), totaling over $100, plus I was worried about not having pocket money that I needed for this weekend. Well, I needed to find my SS card as a document required to apply for a marriage license, and as I looked through my documents, I found a sealed envelope with.... $143 in it!!! I must have put it in there during my time in Dominica (at LEAST OVER TWO YEARS ago!)- for what reason, I have no idea! I was shocked and awed- SUPER surprised!! I could not stop thanking God, smiling and laughing!! I was just going to miss those loan payments and deal with the consequences, since I am straight broke and still without a job, but He found a way to provide for me, came through in the clutch. I prayed: "Lord, can You please use this to strengthen my faith during this time? Thank You so much." I am literally living from day to day, and as always, from grace to grace. I needed a break like this, however "small" it might be.

  

  Regarding the job prayer request, I still had not heard from the CRO, or anybody else for that matter, and I was getting very discouraged on that front. I literally told myself: "It's not gonna happen.. it's just not gonna happen." And I told myself that I'd apply to my backup job plan the next day, even though it wasn't what I wanted.

  Feb. 4: Fresh off of my money miracle, I was about to head to Newark to help Alana's mom pick up some chairs for the bridal shower. What happened next brutally reminded me why I HATE not having my own parking space: I am about to pull out of my street parking spot, and I'm looking at my driver's side mirror to make sure the coast is clear. It's clear, so I pull out onto the street, pretty quickly at that, but I hear my car hit something that causes it to stop!! "Darn, there was snow or ice in front of my car and I didn't notice it." I back up, and attempt to pull out again- BOOM! And I get stopped yet again. On my third attempt, I finally get out of my parking space, but I am very nervous about my bumper possibly being damaged. I get to Newark and I step outside to inspect the damage and my heart SINKS. The bottom part of both my right and left bumper are semi-hanging off, and one side has a huge dent! I immediately try to fix the damage by brute force, but they are still loose. I try to undo the dent with my bare hands but it was unmovable. The whole morning as we picked up the chairs this was the only thing on my mind. I was mad for a few reasons: (1) I drive so carefully, and yet something like this has to happen, (2) I don't own my car (it's being financed) so I always make it a point to take great care of it, and (3) I seem to be the only one on my block who is not lazy when it comes to digging a car out of the snow (I remove the snow very thoroughly while others do just enough to get their cars out of the spot, making it difficult for the next car to park), and yet despite my hard work, my car gets damaged from the snow/ice anyway! I was pissed, and honestly kept asking God why this had to happen. I finally get back to my car to head home, a few hours later, and GUESS WHAT- THE DENT WAS GONE. Miraculously! I looked around for a while, feeling the bumper with my fingers to make sure I just wasn't missing it- this went on for a few minutes: "God, I could swear that there was a pretty big dent here! Is it really gone?!" I stand up and look around- "Did some good Samaritan fix this while I was gone because he or she saw me visibly stressing out about this before?!" I look around again- "Really unlikely... was it the cold? Did the cold cause the dent to.. un-dent itself? Possibly..? Accept it Rowan- believe the impossible. It was GOD. Explainable or not, it was GOD, and He's SHOWING YOU that He is looking out for you, that He is watching over you, and that you don't have to worry or be afraid about anything, like your job situation, your finances, your wedding, etc... wow, thank You Lord..."

  
  LEFT: still loose bumper after fixing it by brute force RIGHT: is this where that dent was?

  As the day went on, I decided that I was going to apply for my fallback job, the one I didn't really want. I was literally just about to begin the application, when I heard God telling me: "The day's not over yet... try Me," and so I did. Evening came and still no phone call or anything, and I think to myself, "Well, there goes that..." I arrive at Fudruckers (for Janelle's birthday celebration) and it's almost 7 pm. I'm a little early so I check my email as I sit in the car, and what do you know- an email from the company! Communication had been established, and God granted me a phone interview for the following Sunday. I was so happy, I was so humbled; I was hearing Him loud and clear.

  Feb. 5: Alana is SUCCESSFULLY surprised for her bridal shower and bachelorette party- God is so good. I looked at pictures from the event, and seeing the joy and happiness in her face nearly brought me to tears, because she absolutely deserves it. I am so thankful to Ozy, Alana's family, and all the girls who came out for the celebrations, and thank you to everyone who gave generous gifts!

  
  LEFT: she's glowing  RIGHT: I'm marrying a hottie

  Feb. 6: I prepared for the interview the entire night previously, but was still nervous. I prayed as my time approached and asked God to go before me and to be with me, and the phone call finally came. By God's grace, the entire 45 minute interview went very well, I believe. The man was very pleasant and I appreciated that very much. The first part of the interview was mainly about my school and work experience, and the rest of the interview consisted of behavioral type questions- very challenging!! But praise God He got me through. I was told at the end that if the company was further interested in me, they would contact me within 3 weeks for an in-person interview, but probably sooner (I hoped sooner).

  That night I attended Dave Rosenberg's birthday celebration in NYC. Every year he invites his friends to Georgio's and pays for everybody's dinner. He is the sweetest old man with a beautiful, beautiful heart for Yeshua & His own Jewish people. "You'll always be my doctor," he said to me, "even if you didn't pass the exam." I love this man. That night I had great fellowship with Cheryl, a friend from church, and truly enjoyed meeting people from Fountain House, the mental health support group/facility Dave is a part of. I had one particular deep and meaningful conversation with a reformed Jewish man there, and I pray that I was able to give him some food for thought (because I know he gave me some).

  
  LEFT: Dave Rosenberg RIGHT: some of the lovely guests

  Feb. 7: God turned a potential 3 week wait into 1 day. I went to go visit Rabbi Steve in Roosevelt Island on this day, and we had a fruitful time of fellowship that I was thankful for. God is continuing to miraculously heal him, after going through a 6-way bypass surgery and getting a defibrillator implanted. It had been a long time since we really spent time together, and he gave me a good Word on taking the finances in my marriage VERY seriously- very appreciative of the fact that although it's an uncomfortable topic, he still went ahead and shared what he felt God wanted him to say to me. As I walked to the train station, I checked my email on my phone and was joyful to find an email from the CRO requesting an in-person interview!! I immediately called the woman to confirm the date and time, and she was very pleasant and helpful as well. PRAYER REQUEST: that God would grant me favor with my interviewers, and that I would not only get the job, but also be offered a fair and generous salary.

  Feb. 8: As part of my desire to seek God's calling on my life at this point, I also looked into my long-time, crystal-clear desire to take Bible classes at some point in my life, to increase my knowledge about God, the Bible, and ministry. The school I want, with all my heart, to attend, is the Feinberg Center, a school under the Talbot School of Theology, and also associated with Chosen People Ministries (which my congregation is a part of). This school offers a Master of Divinity with a focus on Jewish studies. To me, the degree is secondary, although I realize that degrees play a role in ministry as far as credibility- but what I know is that the training I could get in this school is a unique training that I could not get anywhere else (at least not anywhere else close to home). Anyway, I received the opportunity to meet with the director of the program, as well as the dean of student admissions. Our meeting on this day was such a tremendous blessing and encouragement to me personally. We talked, I shared my heart with them, and they counseled. Although it was determined that I probably could not attend the seminary (for a few different reasons), I truly felt respected by these two great men of God. Not only that, but I genuinely felt UNDERSTOOD, and that, quite simply, meant the world to me. At a time where I really don't know what my future will bring, I do know that I have a specific calling, and I trust that my God will find ways to equip me. The journey continues...

  Feb. 9: An incredible Men's Bible Study session at Bethel Baptist Church on this night. It was the beginning of a series on "attitude," and I wanted to quickly share 2 things that touched my core: (1) imagine how hurt and angry you would feel if you overheard your kids complaining about how you don't do enough, how you are too strict, how jealous they are of other kids because their parents buy them cooler things, etc.- you would probably say to them: "We might not be perfect, but we work so hard for you, we do our best to provide for you, and we love you." Now think about our God, Who is not imperfect, but PERFECT. He has never made a mistake in our life (although we might think He has), and yet how often do we find ourselves complaining and getting mad at God and/or life. The better way is to put on the attitude of thanksgiving and gratitude, and remove our attitudes of complaining and whining. (2) God gave us the GREATEST gift, the MOST IMPORTANT act of love, we could ever have asked for, and that is the salvation of our SOULS- if He decided not to do ANYTHING else for us, not another good thing, then THAT would, and SHOULD, be enough. But the fact is, He continues to do so much more- grace upon grace, love upon love. Attitude matters, and makes a huge difference.

  Following Bible Study, Alana and I met with Pastor Dave for another marriage counseling session. My heart just gets so full of joy and excitement, when I think about marrying my best friend, Alana, and the life we will begin to share with one another on a whole new level. She goes above and beyond everything I thought I could ever want, need, or expect from a woman. She deserves my best; God deserves my best. Our marriage is WORTH investing in and preparing for, and at this point we are welcoming every piece of godly advice and counsel with open arms. There are a few books we would like to still read before the big day, and there are godly couples we look up to that we are still hoping to fellowship with. PRAYER REQUEST: that God would prepare and equip us sufficiently for married life, specifically- spiritually and financially.

  

  Feb. 11: I pay $360 a month for my car (ridiculous interest on the financing), and I flat out had no money to be able to pay for the month of February. I figured calling them and asking for some kind of help was worth a shot, and by God's amazing grace, I was basically allowed to skip this month's payment! That sure helps.

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