November 2, 2007

• When Strongholds Speak ©

  Part I: by Natasha Mae

  "Quiet Heart!
  Don't speak now,
  I am building up walls to protect you.
  I don't want to hear your buts, ifs, ands or complaints,
  go on now ignorant Heart,
  wait until my work is done."

  Heart stays quiet,
  for Courage left her - has somewhere else to be
  and in Silence's arms she almost suffocates,
  her soul urges to break the forsaken speechless air-

  "Now Fear," Heart pleas,
  "I wish to see over these walls!
  What do I need protection from?"

  Fear sneered,
  ignorant Heart...Fear thought.

  So Fear summoned Guilt, Regret, and Shame,
  all to face Heart.

  "Remember what you did to your love?
  the only man you ever loved?
  the only man that you swore to?!"
  Heart settled her eyes on the ground,
  searching the memories that never fade.
  "Aww- yes- you remember, don't you?
  And what about the time you wouldn't say no?
  Even more horrid...when you didn't want to?
  When you betrayed Good!?! Betrayed Virtue!?!
  How could you forget??
  Does forgiveness free you of the reality?
  You are foolish, Heart, if you think it does!"
  Guilt had such a way with words.

  "What about the time when you were abused?
  Sexually - by a girl no doubt! - but you wouldn't tell a soul!
  Do you remember how it felt when your mother didn't care?"
  --Shame whispered.
  Heart nodded her head - she remembered all too well.
  "Oh, but Fear..but Shame...
  just one look?
  What harm could..."
  But Regret interjected-
  with a pained shrill it spoke,
  "How dare you forget me! Regret!
  As if it means nothing!
  I should dance upon your arrogance - foolish Heart!
  Remember what happened last time we tore down these walls?
  Remember where the pain drove you?
  TO A KNIFE! NEARLY TO YOUR DEATH!
  Clinging to control you never had!
  People, doctors even, called you anorexic,
  called you a cutter,
  call you a failure,
  rehab for life they said!
  Remember that pain??
  Remember that torment?
  You should not forget what our walls do.
  How DARE you forget!"

  Heart let tears fall,
  like rain really,
  but she held Hope's hand,
  but it was her last breath she could muster to say...
  "There has to be something of worth on the other side,
  beyond me,
  nothing of worth comes with ease."
  She gave up.

  But Fear knew better than to leave her with quitting...
  he must crush every last bit of endurance she had.
  So he pulled out a key...
  Fear unlocked Heart's chest,
  her heart of hearts!

  As the door opened slowly,
  it shined with all she was,
  but that wasn't Fear's desire...
  he went further,
  to the darkest corner...
  to a door labeled 'Heart's truest fear'...

  Heart was drug behind Fear,
  he uncovered her sobbing eyes,
  bound her hands to her side.

  Then opened the black door!
  Out poured darkness, and cold!
  ...but there sat a girl...
  a young, beautiful girl.
  Her name was Abandonment,
  tears never ceased to fall from her eyes.
  She didn't even have to speak,
  her eyes told more than words -
  they sang 'despair',
  screamed 'unworthy',
  taunted 'reject!',
  rang out 'pain',
  cut 'tribulation' right into Heart.
  Heart's truest fear.

  Fear let Heart kill herself inside,
  let her sit in turmoil and denial.
  "Do you want to cut these walls down?
  I'll step down now if you wish to face what's out there,"
  a hint of mockery was in the air.
  "Keep them there," Heart wailed...
  she could barely stand the sight of Abandonment,
  how could she face the world...
  "How did I forget??" --
  and the tears fell like rain really.

  So Silence seized Heart,
  grasped his black hand around her mouth,
  he strangled Hope and made Yearning quiet,

  ----all when the strongholds speak.

  Part II: by Rowan Christian

  Fear stood in the midst of the darkness.
  The walls were complete now, and they were strong.
  They were high, “Impenetrable,” he said to himself.
  Once again Fear showed that he was very good at what he does
  and his minions, his most useful soldiers against “ignorant” Heart
  allowed their laughter to fill the cold air
  and mocked at how easily Hope was defeated.

  They had always mocked Hope.
  As a matter of fact, they hated him.
  They hated him for his power, but most of all, because of his essence.
  Because his father is Truth, and his spirit is Love.
  They always knew that Hope, not ironically
  was Heart’s only hope.
  In a world of many Joys, and even more Sadnesses
  Hope had always stood alone, yet always in the same spot
  right beside a now Hopeless Heart

  or so she thought.

  Fear thought he was so smart
  but for all the knowledge in the world, he never could attain wisdom.
  He forgot that Hope doesn’t die
  that Hope can’t die
  because his father is Truth, and his spirit is Love
  and the minion who never spoke thought his black hand was enough to choke Hope
  but though Courage had left
  and though Strength fled when Yearning was silenced
  Hope began to glow.

  It seemed as if all Heart’s virtues were nowhere to be found
  and Hope needed to be enough
  needed to be all those things in order to sustain her.
  He began to shine brighter than the stars in Heart’s eyes
  and the warmth of his spirit pierced through the cold.
  “Hope.. save me…,” she said in her head.
  She didn’t know what else to think.
  Fear had drained her body and abused her soul.
  There were no other words, just an unspoken cry for help.

  Blood began to flow from the hands of Hope.
  It washed away Guilt and his carefully crafted words
  and as Hope’s eyes slowly turned to the near lifeless Heart
  he broke (the) Silence-
  “Precious, beloved Heart,
  you have been through so much.
  Let me fight your battles.
  Let me carry your burdens.
  Let me give you rest.”
  The tears fell from his gazing eyes, like rain really,
  wiping out Shame and its chains
  as the sweat from his silent pleas to his father’s throne
  drowned out Regret and its calloused cruelty.

  Fear once demanded.
  Fear once sneered.
  Fear once mocked the fragile Heart.
  But in the presence of Love
  in its truest, most unadulterated form
  Fear was cast out, and in his haste he dropped the key
  retreating far beyond the walls he created
  realizing that the light of Hope
  revealed Truth that the darkness tried so hard to hide
  and Truth, well
  Truth always wins.

  Hope slowly picked up the key to Heart’s chest,
  her heart of hearts.
  She sat there motionless, emotionless.
  A little confused, she finally looks up.
  Her heart of hearts had many questions
  but it did know one thing:
  Hope had answered when she cried for help
  and now Hope held her
  and held her hand once more.

  When he spoke to her, he spoke softly-
  “Fear is the father of all lies.
  He uses his minions to blind countless souls.
  For you it’s been Guilt, Shame, and Regret.
  Heart, you are not perfect, nor will you ever be
  and I know that at many points in your life
  you may have betrayed Good, and you may have betrayed Virtue
  but I know your heart searched for Forgiveness
  and I gave you Forgiveness, which will never leave
  because I knew Repentance entered into your heart of hearts.
  It may not free you from the reality of its consequences
  and you cannot undo the past
  but you can learn form it, you can grow from it.
  You can change your present and you can change your future because of it.
  You can trust me to take care of those involved
  and you can trust me to be the strength that you need
  to move on.

  I know what your abuse has put you through.
  I know that Shame has haunted you ever since
  and I know that Fear used him to keep you bound by Silence.
  But remember now how I covered your shame
  how I wrap you in Love
  and when I hold you now, I want you to know your worth:
  hand-chosen by my father before the foundations of the earth
  and I need you to be the strong woman who has endured
  one who can now empathize
  relate and help others on a higher level
  confident that you are no less than what I made you to be
  and I will be your hand of justice.
  When your mother found out
  I know it hurt you that she couldn’t be the person that you needed her to be
  but people will fail you, they will let you down.
  They will disappoint.
  But I never will.

  It doesn’t matter now what others have called you,
  what others might think of you.
  See what I see, find your identity in me.
  You’ve been driven so close to death
  even by your own hand.
  They’ve called you Hopeless, yet here I stand.
  Regret, in its own arrogant way
  will try to trap you and keep you stagnant
  but remember this-
  I paid much too high a price, for any of these to bind you
  I love you too much….”

  He wiped another tear that came down from Heart’s eye
  and put it in a bottle.
  Her voice was shaky, almost a whisper-
  “Please let this be the last time..”
  Hope took the key and carefully opened heart’s chest.
  He made his may to the darkest corner
  and found the door labeled “Heart’s truest fear.”
  The young, beautiful girl named Abandonment sat there the same as before.
  He then closed the black door
  and though he knew he could not change Heart’s truest fear
  he relocked her chest and said-

  “When I tear down these walls
  Fear may come back again along with his minions.
  They may tell you that without these walls
  you will hurt and be hurt;
  without these walls, shame will be exposed,
  your trust will be betrayed;
  they may tell you that without these walls
  you are susceptible to pain
  and in danger of losing yourself.
  But I tell you now-
  what's on the other side of these walls is priceless.
  And as you well know, nothing of worth comes with ease.
  You will never have to see the tears of Abandonment
  because I will never leave you, nor will I forsake you.
  I, and not these walls, will be the one to guard your heart.
  My father (Truth) will teach you
  make you to rise above the shortcomings of others
  but more importantly, make you to rise above your own shortcomings
  no matter how many times you may fail again.
  My spirit (Love) will guide you
  help you to live the life I intended for you
  a life more abundant.
  And I will always be in control, even when it may not seem so.
  When you call for me, even if from the deepest recesses of your mind
  I will fight with you.
  I will fight for you.
  Don’t be afraid to speak my name against Fear..”

  Hope’s name..

  Jesus.

  And in His Name, the walls came crumbling down.
  Those high, deceptively strong walls, built by the strongholds.
  And Heart finally saw what was on the other side-

  Freedom.

  She stood there and closed her eyes, getting lost in His embrace
  and in her heart of hearts, she knew that she'd be ready,

  ----for the next time the strongholds speak.

  • 10:14 pm
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