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  • But even if not, I want you to know that I will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up. (Daniel 3:18)

    I failed STEP 1 for a 2nd time.

    I prayed believing, with all my heart, and I think that's all the faith that could have been asked of me.

    My peace at this very moment lies in my complete surrender. Not defeat, but surrender.

    Alana is convinced that it is not God's will for me to become a doctor. I believe she may be right, but I don't want to leave any stone unturned.

    Ross is giving me yet another chance to take STEP 1, and I'll be scheduling it for the end of January.

    If I fail, I am done, by choice, with trying to become a doctor.

    I am not more fair than God. I am not more just than God. And I do not know more than God.

    I trust Him with all of my heart, despite my shortcomings.

    Sorry devil, but it will take more than this to rattle my cage.

    I will be strong. I was prepared for this, so please don't worry about me. I only ask that you pray for Alana & my parents.

    I don't know where money will come from over the next few months, but Jehovah Jireh is my Provider.

    God has been more than good to me, and I have no right to complain. I count my many blessings.

    I find that place in my heart, where I can rest from all this. I hide there because that's where Jesus is.

    Thank you for your prayers that do not cease for me.

    This is absolutely necessary. Passing STEP 1 right now, is absolutely not necessary. (Romans 8:28)


  • Jeniel Corpuz Photography
    http://www.jcorpuzblog.com/

    Our friend and wedding photographer Jeniel always does engagement photoshoots with all of his wedding clients so that he can get a feel for the couple and how they are behind a camera. Alana and I decided to stage this shoot at Rutgers University (New Brunswick), our alma mater. This is where we first met in 2001, and where we shared so many wonderful memories since. We did the shoot last Sunday and had lots of fun doing it. Jeniel truly is a master of his craft, and we are really grateful and happy to have him as our wedding photographer. Also, many thanks to our friend Joey Esguerra for assisting yet another photoshoot with us.

  • HE HAS ALREADY MADE PROVISION

    by David Wilkerson | September 27, 2010

    When God calls us to any specific work, he has already made provision for everything we need to accomplish it.

    “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8).

    This verse is not just a hope—it is a promise! It begins with the words, “God is able!”

    God is not interested in just meeting your need. He wants always to give you more than you need. That is what abound means—an ever-increasing, super-abundant supply!

    “Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us” (Ephesians 3:20).

    Think of what is being promised here: When you are down and tired and don’t think you can go any farther, God is able to so invigorate you that you will have all you need—at all times, in every possible situation.

    It is as if the Lord is saying, “Listen, all you shepherds! Listen, all you who faithfully attend my house and labor in prayer, praise and intercession! I want to give you an abundance of strength, hope, joy, peace, rest, finances, encouragement, wisdom. In fact, I want you to have an overabundance of all you need—at all times!”

    God never intended for us to be spiritual paupers, poor in the things of the Lord. On the contrary, the bountiful servant is the one who enjoys a revelation of all the great provisions God has prepared for him! And he goes after this revelation by faith!

    “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God” (1 Corinthians 2:9–10).

    Paraphrased, “Our forefathers could not begin to comprehend all the great provisions God had prepared! It never entered into their vision, hearing or imagination. But there is no reason for us to be blind about these things, to go about not knowing what is ours. Our eyes must see, our ears must hear, it must enter into our hearts and minds—because we’re the people for whom God has prepared it all! The Holy Spirit has revealed it to us!”

    Indeed, the Bible says we are to seek him for this revelation. Paul wrote, “Now we have received…the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God…which things…the Holy Ghost teacheth…[and] are spiritually discerned” (v. 12–14).

    I believe most Christians have not honestly faced the power of these promises of God! We’ve read them many times, but they remain as dead letters to us. We haven’t laid hold of them and said, “Lord, reveal to me what you have prepared! Open my mind and my spirit to your resources. Your Word says I must know all these things that are freely given to me so that I can claim them for your glory!”

    (http://www.worldchallenge.org/en/devotions/2010/he-has-already-made-provision)
     

    Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders You have done.
    The things You planned for us no one can recount to You;
    were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.
    - Psalm 40:5

    (Thank you Sarah V. )

  • My friend Char shared something with me today.. as I was getting ready to begin another long, yet not long enough, day of studying at Seton Hall, I listened.. and then I heard.. I felt shivers and goosebumps.. I heard His voice, felt His presence, was immersed in His love.. and it was beautiful. I closed my eyes and the tears came. I buried my face in my hands, and those tears didn't stop for a long, long time.. it had been a while since I heard God's voice so clearly. It was one of those moments where you knew, without a doubt in your mind, that God is real. Because it was perfect. The timing, the message, the delivery.. the utter, desperate need.. oh how He loves us. God is always so much closer than we tend to remember.. I knew right then and there, that I would be alright on Monday. He never, ever, ceases to amaze me....



    "Look away from Me- your eyes, they overwhelm Me...." -God

    Hephzibah Beulah

  • Psalm 13

    For the director of music. A psalm of David.

     1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever?
           How long will you hide your face from me?

     2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
           and every day have sorrow in my heart?
           How long will my enemy triumph over me?

     3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.
           Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

     4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
           and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

     5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
           my heart rejoices in your salvation.

     6 I will sing to the LORD,
           for he has been good to me.

  • Clutching at.... ©
    rowancv 09/19/10- 12:04 AM

    I come to You as I am:
    Broken, lost and guilty hands.
    My escape in knowledge planned,
    Failed to break through bars of sand.

    Solicitude lays here with me-
    Tries to ascertain gravity.
    The years I put in deeply etched,
    All fall short, always inept.

    You come to me as "I Am,"
    Reflecting questions reprimand:
    The stripes I wear ironically,
    Were bore in love to set me free.

  • There must be something terribly wrong with me.

    Please pray for me: I need a miracle I don't deserve.

  • Webs ©
    rowancv 09/07/10- 9:57 PM

    WEBS

    The webs we find ourselves in
    Tricately formed by the years we put in
    Flicting the poison of our own sin
    Cerely making those we love the most feel STUCK.

    The webs we find ourselves in
    Viting hopelessness and apathy to come in
    Sect food for Beelzebub to play in
    Sulting Truth in a battle we can't win... ALONE.

    The webs we find ourselves in
    Tractable blame brings the tears in
    Sanity slowly clears where the Light mixes in
    Timate reminders of a GREATER Designer.

    COBWEBS

  • Funkier Than a Mosquito's Tweeter:

    My sin
    Certain people
    Floyd Mayweather, Jr.

    While studying in Panera yesterday, I had an annoying "fail" moment. One thing I look forward to everyday, studying in various places, is a divine appointment. So a guy with his two kids sit down in the booth in front of me. I judged him from the get-go: probably a former frat boy, gym rat, tattoos, throwing some trash right on the floor (indoor littering), and talking kind of aggressively to his kids. But then, with my headphones on and really trying to ignore them and study, I notice in my peripheral vision that he was nodding and trying to get my attention. "Hi!" I said. "That's crazy man, school work already huh?" he smiled. I'm usually the one who instigates conversations with strangers, yet here was a golden opportunity to be the mouth, hands, and feet of God. He asked about my schooling and I answered his questions. The entire conversation was about me. Then he wished me luck and that was that. I was left sorely disappointed in myself. I like to think that I'm pretty decent at holding a conversation, but at that moment, I was kind of consumed with a few outside things and issues, mainly to do with myself. And after they left, I thought of all the things I could have said or asked him to keep the conversation going, and possibly leading to somethings more. Gosh, I didn't even ask about his kids, as I overheard that he was going to take them to Chuck-E-Cheese afterward. He was such a nice guy, and I prayed for him and his family. I hate pre-judging, prejudice, and stereotyping. This was a humbling experience to once again show me that I am totally not above anybody, I am absolutely nothing apart from God, and that my heart too is desperately depraved and wicked above all things. Sometimes I fail to realize just how much I need Christ, and it's sad....

    I had to mention another conversation I overheard yesterday. In the same booth, later on in the day, and again, with my headphones on, somehow I still overhear that this guy was explaining to his friend how he "came out." What caught my attention, however, was this part: "I could tell his friend was extremely uncomfortable (after he had just told them he was homosexual). I mean this guy is hard-core Jesus. So I said to him, 'man, you look kind of uncomfortable,' and then dude starts comin' at me hard: 'I love you man, as a person, but I don't approve.' (BAMM!! In my head I was like "Noooooo.."- "hard-core Jesus" guy continues...) 'Lemme ask you something- what's your relationship like with God?' (REALLY?!!! guy telling the story continues...) Hey man, I'm not asking you to approve bro, I just wanted to tell you guys...." And these fellas talking in the booth seemed like really cool young people. I honestly wanted to just go up to them and apologize on the "hard-core Jesus" guy's behalf!! And it's no wonder people view us Christians as out of touch and out of this world. It's no wonder why they even have to make such labels, and why they equate "hard-core Jesus" with "hard-core lack of tact and love" instead of "hard-core LOVE"!!! We all need to wake up, and either understand what the Gospel is really about, or remember it more often than we do if we already know. The "hard-core Jesus" guy said some more wacky stuff but man, I won't even get into it....

    I have a lot of stories and testimonies to share about encounters and people I've met during this season of studying, and I hope to write about them sometime this month. God bless, and remember to keep living for the Kingdom.

    -Ro

  • To my xanga peoples, in case you haven't seen it : I was totally blessed by this- pure FIRE, inspiring, and at the end, all I could say was "WOW...."

    http://www.onlybelievetv.com/view_video.php?viewkey=e1359e105c8a5d8cd956

rowancv

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